We all need love.
We need to know we are lovable and are loved. We started out in this world knowing this confidently as our mother’s drowned us in an unmatched, non-judgmental love. We were completely embraced in our wholeness. We were not only adored for our innocence but even our worst characteristics. Pooping was cute, farts were funny, and falling down was countered with encouragement. We knew nothing but love. But can we still say the same today? When you look at yourself can you sincerely hold the same beliefs you did as an infant?
I am loved completely
I am completely lovable
Chances are, you can’t. I find no question more powerful than the question “Do you feel loved?” Asking others this question almost always arises acute self-doubt. And yet, how come? How is it we have come so far from our source of love? This is a complex problem with many layers. One of the first layers to the lie that is “we are not good enough” stems from our own perception.
Layers of Love
1. Perception– The perception of love we created over time has been a lie. The images we perceive in the mirror and in our minds are painted on from the past. According to our pasts, we are limited. In our past is where our insecurities are created. An insecurity is nothing more than a suppression of something we have experienced in ourselves that has become “unacceptable”. Perhaps this insecurity is based on your physical appearance. Sometime in your past you developed the idea your looks were not up-to-par. This might have come from an experience of being told physically you were unattractive by someone you admired or hearing that blonde’s are the most beautiful when you are clearly not blonde. However, this is simply not true. It is but another person’s perception based on their own separations from what true love really is; accepting others for what it is, without judgement.
2. Separation– Our perception starts with our own separation or duality. Duality is the idea of “this for that”. It is a belief that until you get “this” you will never get “that”. However, we all know at a very basic level that this is also a lie. Suppose you have the dualistic belief that you will never be loved until you are 110 pounds with toned muscle build and earn six figures. Let’s look at both ends of this belief. On one end, you can do whatever brain washing required to make this come true and supposed you find a beloved at the end of that goal. How likely is it that person is attracted to other qualities you possess than just those? Very likely. As much as it is very likely this person could be attracted to only those parts of you and you, being a human being, have complexities to you that must also be nourished, such as your need to eat. If this person only loves you for your beliefs of what love is, anytime you are acting outside of those beliefs, which you will have to, whether it be to eat, cry, laugh, create, exercise, etc will never fully receive love in these other moments. My point being, you are always more than what standards you hold yourself to be, because you are a forever growing and expanding being both physically and non-physically. Therefore, separation only keeps you from fully receiving love. Separation is like owning a role and any attempt of love given to you will only go to that role, and when the cameras are off love is not received.
3. Beliefs– Perception and separation are both created by our beliefs. We create both simple and complex beliefs that shape our realities. The more complex, the harder it is to break down our own blocks to receiving love. A common belief we create is that we have “flaws”. The definition of a flaw has been associated with weakness in our society that strives for mechanical perfection. However, we know by know the “flaws” associated with mechanics and with each new day we understand the brilliance and the unmatched perfect creativity within human error. Breaking down a belief is a simple exercise. Keeping flaws in mind, if you believe one of your flaws is that you are a red head, (not a blonde) all you must do is point out the faults in this belief. Meaning, instead of seeking all the proof that backs the belief that you are flawed, where is the proof that shows you are not? In other words, how has being a red head benefited your life positively in receiving love? Perhaps, it was your red hair that got you a discount on one of your favorite products one day while out shopping. Though not as profound as the passionate emotion associated with “falling in love” this thinking process starts the debunking of your limited beliefs which will eventually lead you to true love. A discount or a favorite product are both just different forms that love plays in your life already.
Where is True Love?
True love inside of you right now. The truth is we were all created to be completely loved and completely lovable. Nothing has changed from the time before birth and our infancy other than our belief systems. There is no work to be done here other than to constantly remind ourselves of our highest potential. Just as we change our highest perception of ourselves to achieve a new job or skill we have to in order to find love. This is not a lie or affirmation we must feed ourselves but the truth. To break any of our old beliefs we have to remember one thing; we are love. I understand this sounds esoteric to most, but the reality is we are in control and we put love into things and decide to receive it. There is no low supply of love, if anything the problem it is over-flowing.When we understand this, we no longer have to function from our old beliefs that we must seek love outside of ourselves, but to simply look within and accept our wholeness. When you can remember, your perception can create lies, our flaws are entirely lovable, and our separation is the only block from here to true love; we can begin to experience it. It is when we begin to accept our own wholeness inside of yourself that we begin to see true love 0utside and in others.