Where ever you are in life, you have probably witnessed the dread that accompanies self-doubt, criticism, and insecurities. Whether you are single or in a relationship, your interactions with others and concern with living up to others expectations can be one of the most difficult challenges you may have with yourself. Living up to expectations placed on you, whether by others of yourself, is truly a matter of feeling good enough or deserving. And the issue of what you feel you deserve arouses your insecurities.
How do you escape the insecurities and find deservedness?
Deservedness is the deep issue that beauty hides. If you are deserving you can be open to all love and if you are not you will be limited to love that includes fear. Because what you feel you do not deserve can be taken away from you. To feel totally deserving you have to realize that you are complete and whole already. Most determine their deservedness based on a host of external factors; beauty, money, virtue, significance and knowledge. However, these things are not YOU. They are merely vessels to the real thing; love. Love and self-love is knowing you can be imperfect, incomplete on the outside and still be completely whole on the inside. The idea of being externally complete and whole is paradoxical to life considering when you become “complete” your life would be over, for without growth and incompleteness to your life you would be decaying or dead. So with incompleteness comes new life and therefore as long as you are alive you will always be incomplete externally in some way or another.
The only way to true self-love is seeing yourself in the perception of God or spirit. Otherwise, you will be forever entangled in the external world that is very much incomplete and becoming.
The closest example of true love between two humans would be a mother and her child. When a mother is helping her child to walk or eat she accepts in wholeness that her child is learning and becoming. She is not thinking “If you were a complete and competent child you would be walking on your own by now.” She is; however, totally accepting with the process of growth and incompleteness and all knowing that her child is complete in spirit and perfectly becoming. This is the type of relationship you must have in yourself to ever reach a true state of self-love.
You are not to arrive anywhere in order to love yourself, self-love starts today. Where most of you are trying to arrive in order to feel deserving is at the end of your life; when you are “complete” and have achieved all your desires. Which has a sense of irony to it. Perhaps spiritually you know your completeness is outside of this physical body, in spirit, with God. However, you do not have to physically die to become complete, you can happily accecpt that life IS growth and is continuously becoming. So as long as you are a perfectly incomplete human you will be in incomplete stages of learning new things, taking on goals, working on dreams, and always becoming more. This is a beautiful thing and you are a beautiful being. If you feel you need to change your physical image, obtain more money or particular title before you can feel love you will never feel love because it is not the “thing” that will make you feel love, but the self-allowance and internal decision you make, which you can make right now as you work steadily to obtain a healthy goal.