Do not set out to build the perfect life, but live each moment perfectly.
Let’s face it, we can tend to over think things, exaggerate, and make life much scarier than it actually is. We tend to think of the things we desire as really big deals but it’s just not true. Most of the time, when you think something is a huge deal you are in effect saying it’s going to be either difficult to obtain, require a lot of hard work, or at best take a long time to get.
Myths about your Big Dreams
- You need your goal to be happy
- It’s going to be a long time coming
- Getting them will be hard work
At this point, if you have read any material about self-development, or have at all experienced receiving something you want, you most likely think I’m crazy. If you know me or my material you probably think I’ve become delusional. All I talk about is living a great life, thinking BIG, using leverage, getting uncomfortable, etc.
I am writing this to clear up that confusion. I realized today when I was personally setting out some new goals in my life a “secret” to my madness that most people probably over look. One of my goals was to reach more people, and this goal brought up something interesting in me…I had thought about why I may not have my goal already. I asked myself this question and the first thing that came to me were the many occasions where I have witnessed clients, friends and families sense of overwhelm. All I talk about is big goals, big dreams, huge leverage, using fear and a lot of things that most people avoid like the plague.
What makes me different?
This was the other question I asked. I thought to myself, why me? Why do I have comfort in uncomfortability? Why do I thrive off of fear and big dreams? I knew I wasn’t the only one. In fact, after several hundreds of books and personal mentoring I knew this was common in all of my mentors and the authors of these books. So what made us different? What exactly happened in my mind that made me change and become one of these “fearless” people if you will? Then I figured it out. It’s not that I have leveraged myself, it’s not that I have the massive goals and dreams that excite me. Nope. It’s something much smaller and simpler than that. What happened to me over the span of my life and something I have always done in particular areas of success in my life wasn’t all these things but simply this:
I think of big things in small terms.
That’s it. I don’t really think BIG, I think very very small. And until now I realized that the real key to success isn’t thinking big or setting huge goals that scare you. But where the magic takes place is when you feel that fear and do it anyway. Success happens when your massive goal becomes a easily obtainable.
Thinking small brings BIG results
Big goals don’t empower you! They scare the shit out of people. Think back to the 4 myths I mentioned these are all things that create a disempowering mental construct. Allow me to simplify each of the 4 myths.
- Your “Big Goal” will bring you happiness– When you think a goal is going to make you happy; such as getting a super fit body, you are setting up in your mind that RIGHT NOW you can’t be happy. If you’re overweight and have diabetes and you’re definition of happiness is that you need a massive goal that is having a 6 pack you are most likely going to look in the mirror everyday feeling totally inadequate with your current situation. You will feel totally dis-empowered with such a large goal. I am not telling you to not set a high goal, that is achievable. What you can do; however, is enjoy the journey along the way. Break up your massive weight loss goal into bite-sized pieces. Take it a day at a time. Develop a day-to-day plan that is taking you on the path to 6-pack sexiness. This would include, one 30 minute workout a day with 3 healthy meals. As the saying goes, in order to eat an elephant you must take it one bite at a time. Feeling great about your body RIGHT now is the key. You will never feel great about your body as long as happiness is unattainable until you reach the goal. Your day to day work has to be enough to make you feel what it would feel like to have the body you want today.
- It’s going to be a long time coming- This is a lie. The reoccurring theme in all 4 myths of getting big goals is this; if you can feel joy along the journey you will achieve a goal with ease. Linear time has been proved to be an illusion by quantum physics. Think about a time in your life where you’ve experienced timelessness. Eisenstein often described timelessness with a simple scenario that “spending a minute sitting on a hot stove feels like an hour while spending an hour with a beautiful woman feels like a minute.” If you have ever attempted to lose weight and dreaded the process I am sure you can attest to this. A month long “diet” feels like a lifetime, each personal training session feels like 5 hours and the days drag as you fight the urge to throw it all away and eat a cookie while you stare at your broccoli and fish. My point is that as long as your goal is massive you will most likely create the feeling of these negative emotions which will lengthen the period of time as we know it to be. The solution. I make this very simple for my clients; forget forcing yourself to do workouts you hate and eat foods that make you want to vomit. There are thousands of ways to move and thousands upon thousands of healthy food combinations. Find the ones you love and do those! If you hate pushups but love your dog, take your dog for a walk. If that sounds like work, then just make a conscious effort to take your dog to a park and throw a Frisbee. If you hate broccoli, don’t buy it. I know people can be stubborn but I can promise you there are some healthy options you will love if you just keep trying. It’s fall time and baked winter squashes with coconut oil and cinnamon is like dessert. I’m not saying go crazy but if it keeps you off of the cookies well we’ve made a quantum leap.
- Big Dreams take a lot of work- If you’ve made it past myths 1 and 2 chances are the last one is what really holds people back. In our society we have seen so many achieve “success” through hard work and we’ve come to respect it. It’s an interesting phenominom…The idea that things take work is first off, dis-empowering. And second of all, a sure sign that you have lost focus of your present moment. I’ll use a scenario to describe what I mean. When you see the girl or guy of your dreams you know it. Love takes over, and love is the power that drives all real success. When you lay your eyes on that person every obstacle seizes to be. With the power of love workouts become fun as you build a body to attract this person. People have lifted cars out of love. Have you heard of this story? A woman that was in her 60’s literally lifted a car to save a loved one trapped beneath it. The power of love transmutes all work and without me writing a book of examples I will allow you to think of personal situations where you have done the same. But what takes place in the mind is again looking at your goals on a smaller perspective. If you get trapped in the idea that your big goal is going to take a lot of work then that becomes your reality. You stay focused on the end result and nothing good comes out of your present work. Ever have a time when you so badly wanted to be somewhere other than where you were that even the simplest task felt like a complete hassle? This again is a mental construct of your big goal. Losing 50 pounds is a lot harder work than losing one pound a day. Looking really good in an outfit for the attention of that girl today is a lot easier work than making her fall in love with you and marry you today.
The moral of today’s post is to show you that in any area of goal obtainment the real power is not the massive leverage in the goal itself but when the leverage itself empowers you. The only way to create empowering leverage is through positive, bite-sized emotions. Find love in what you’re doing right now, take one pleasant step in the direction of what you’re doing. The outcome will be a work-free, joyful ride that comes much sooner.